Happy Thursday,  it is time for a new installment of Mom confessions.

– Today is Sterling’s 7th Birthday.  I am not kidding when I say I feel like the last 7 years went by in the blink of eye.  It scares me to think how fast the next 7 years will go by and then I will have a 14 year old.  I still vividly remember checking into the hospital, laboring for 32 hours and becoming a mom for the first time.  I was terrified but then when I held him for the first time I knew this was my purpose, to be a mom.  Sterling provides me with so much unconditional love and has taught me the same.  I thank God everyday for him.   Happy 7th to my sweet boy!

– A few weeks ago Sterling called me to our back door and goes look out on the porch mom.  He said do you see that animal? Sterling pranks me often so I was totally expecting a joke.  It took me a minute to focus in and see he was pointing to a rat or very large mouse that was chilling on our play kitchen set on the porch.  The next day I saw two large mice- now I am now officially freaking out.  I called my next door neighbor who helped me set up traps and rat poison.  I was too scared to even set foot on the porch for a week.   I later found out Sterling and his friends had been making potions with water and my spices and that was attracting the mice- yikes! 

– Potty training sucks.  I should have known Sterling was so easy and Frances has been difficult.  She is pretty good about going tee tee in the potty but freaks about pooping.  She will bring me a diaper when she needs to poop and ask me to put it on her, then she will walk away and go poop.   If I ask her to poop in the potty she screams and runs away and hides. 

– Sterling recently had some allergy testing done and we found out he was basically allergic to everything.  His allergy doctor said allergy shots were really the best option for him since he had such an extreme reaction to so many external things.  I took him in last week for his first shot.  He basically turned into the exorcist.  The first nurse came in and tried to give him the shot and he was screaming and flipping out so badly they called in a second nurse to help hold him down.  He then starts hitting and kicking and no one is able to pin him down because he is so erratic.  Then the head doctor walks in and tells me he will not be receiving allergy shots because he is too immature and a threat to her staff.  At this point I am crying because no one wants to see their child acting like Sterling did.  We left but he still really needs shots- anyone have advice for getting kids to calm down for shots? Bribery does not work:)

– Frances screams every time I brush her hair.  Like even if I barely touch her hair or just put a bow in she screams as loud as she can and says I am hurting her. She acts like I am torturing her in the worst way possible.  I dread doing her hair in the morning and many times after I do it she rips out the pony tail or bow.  Is this normal and do kids grow out of this????

– Frances keeps telling everyone she is going to have a baby  and that baby Jesus is in her tummy.  I think playing Mary in the school Christmas play got into her head- haha.  Last night she told me I was gonna be a grandma soon:)

– Sterling’s made this Valentine’s card for me.  I love that I look like Britney Spears.  He said he put me in workout clothes because I am always in workout clothes.  If only my workout clothes looked like that and I looked that good in them:)

– My kids love lunchables and Spongebob.  It makes me think at some point I have majorly failed as a mom.

– I am fully addicted to Parenthood.  I feel like I am a Braverman at heart.  I also now want to have two boys and two girls so I can mimic their family life.  The best show ever.  Craig T Nelson reminds me so much of my dad in so many ways.  

– Yesterday I took Sterling and his best friend to see the new Batman movie as a birthday treat.   It was dark and I was so tired and I immediately fell asleep and slept through half of the the movie.  Not gonna lie it was nice to take a nap during the day. 

– Speaking of legos, I throw them away all the time.  If I step on one and find them loose on the ground they are trash.  We have way too many legos. 

– Frances only wants to wear pink.  If I bring her an outfit that is not pink she starts crying and saying it needs to be pink.  Who knew the dressing struggle would start this young.

– As soon as I clean the den and pick up all the toys everywhere it never fails Frances will decide the one toy she needs to sleep with is buried at the bottom of the toy bin.  She then dumps all the toys out to get to that single toy.

– I recently found out when I was asking Sterling to clean his room he was throwing everything in his dirty clothes hamper- clean clothes and all just so the floor looked clean.  I was like this is not gonna fly.  Not sure why it is so hard for him to put his clothes away but the struggle is real.  He also never closes his dresser drawers and that drives me nuts!

Happy Thursday!  I would love to hear any of your mom confessions to make me feel like less of a weirdo:)

Happy Thursday.  It’s that time again for mom confessions.  Keeping it real. 

– I took Frances to get her first manicure yesterday.  I was so excited to share this moment with her and do something girly.   She loves to paint her nails at home so I knew she would love it.  She did great but while we were there she kept saying “what is that smell? ”  I kept

 telling her its just the nail polish or the remover.  Then she starts dying laughing and goes I know what that smell is it’s my fanny.  She then keeps proceeding to say very loudly that her fanny smells.  

Then the guy doing my nails looks at Frances and goes tell your Mommy you need an Asian brother.  I started laughing uncomfortably and he kept repeating it.  When we left he goes tell your daddy your Mom wants an Asian brother- I was like well that was a weird and uncomfortable manicure.

– We went to the library this week, a favorite activity for the kids.  I always let the kids pick out a few books and a movie or two.  Frances brought me the movie below and said she wanted to check it out.  I was like ummm no this is a grown up movie.  She starts crying and screaming very loudly throwing a full on tantrum.  She then tells me it’s her favorite movie because the old man gets hit in the face- say what????  

– I can’t stop watching Bachelor in Paradise.  I don’t even like any of the people on the show but for some reason it just hooks me in.  It is horrible tv and so cheesy but so good.  I have no shame in my love for bad reality tv.  

– I am so over trying to diet.  I have only lost 4 pounds so far.  It is nuts how easy it is to gain weight and how hard it is to lose it.  It has been so hard not eating the kid’s extra goldfish or dinner and last night I baked them cookies and I just stood there and smelled them for 5 minutes since I wouldn’t let myself eat one.  

– I am loving instastories so much.  To be honest I could never figure out snapchat.  I had the hardest time figuring out how to follow people and see their stories.  I chalked it up to the fact that I was old and lazy but instastories is so much easier.  I love seeing peeks into other’s lives and sharing more of ours.  I like that it is a little more real than all the staged pictures on instagram, you get to know people and their personalities better.  Although in just a few days it has become quite the addiction:) 

If you don’t know how to see my instastories just go to my instagram page @snoopnattynat and click on my round profile picture and you can watch what I have posted.

– I have recently noticed I have major armpit flab.  You know what I am talking about the skin that hangs over your bra and sports bra.   How the heck do I rid myself of this????

– I am starting to become Rose obsessed.  It is the only wine I want to drink lately. I need to branch back out and try some other kinds but I just love it too much.  I even have Matt hooked on it too.

– I secretly love watching the men’s diving and swimming on the Olympics.  Their bodies are insane and their bathing suits are so small.  I just read the funniest article about how the black bars at the bottom make it look like they are censored porn- haha.  You can see the article here with more hilarious photos.

– I got dressed the other night to go out to dinner with my mom and sister and before we left Sterling goes that dress is way too Summery.  It is just not right for your dinner.  I was laughing at this point and said well it is still Summer.  He goes you need to be wearing that on a sailboat or yacht.  I said well if only I was invited on a yacht- I would:)  

– That same night they had a new babysitter since we were in Charlotte. We used my nephew’s teacher who is just the sweetest and was amazing with the kids.    At the end of the night she sends me a video and it is Frances telling her she has big boobies.  Watch and enjoy:)

– I bought these chewy melatonin pills to take at night before I go to bed in hopes that they would help me sleep.  Well the two nights I took them I had the worst dreams ever.  I had one dream that I killed someone and I was trying to cover up what I did.   It was so scary.   I asked Matt and he said the same thing had happened to him and he had really strange dreams too after taking it.  Adios melatonin I would rather not sleep that great than have creepy dreams. 

– Sterling and Frances Moon’s new favorite activity is to empty every toy bin in the house and then tell me they are bored.  

side note: Frances just looked at this picture while I was typing and goes ” get all the toys out,  can we do that again now?”

– We took Frances to the urgent care last weekend because I was afraid she had broken her wrist luckily it was fine.  While we were there Sterling goes ” I love this place, we should really come here more often.”  The nurses were dying laughing and said well that is a comment we have never heard before. 

 – 3 weeks ago one of my sister’s best friends died.  Then I found out a good friend had cancer.  I have been so pre occupied with death lately and dying.  It is all consuming to me right now and scary how  how short life can be. 

Lastly,  this is so true.  My kids have had major tantrums lately if we go to a store and I don’t buy them anything.  Even at the grocery store they want some sort of a trinket and I am over it.  I am trying to teach them they do not get something in every store we go in and it has been hard.  Lots of tears and screaming and telling me I am a mean mom and the worst mom ever.  

TGIF.  It’s been awhile since I did a few Mom confession- enjoy and as always I would love to hear your own!  It makes me feel like my life is less crazy:)

– A few weeks ago Sterling came to me holding a small pink cylinder.  I looked at it and realized it was an old pepper spray Matt had given me way back when we were dating.  He must have found it back in one of my drawers- why he was digging through my drawers is whole different issue.  I told him what it was and NEVER to spray it and to please put it back.    He said ok and I assumed he did it as I was busy with Frances.  5 minutes later I hear him coughing weirdly and I am worried he is choking because it was such a weird cough.   I quickly go check on him.   He lies and says he has a tickle in his throat.  I go back to my bedroom to get something and I about die.  The fumes are so overwhelming and thick and I can’t breathe at all.  I had no idea how powerful pepper spray was.  I can’t stop coughing and trying to catch a breath and completely lose my shit.   He starts crying and no joke I start crying because the situation could have been so much worse and I am scared because I really can’t breathe.   We quickly go outside and then I hold my breath and run back in and open the windows to let it air out.   I am so thankful that 1) it never got near Frances 2) He is ok but boy did he get in trouble. Oh and lesson learned pepper spray really does work if you are ever in trouble.

–  A few months ago we hit up Walmart with my sister.  I don’t really like Walmart and prefer Target but she wanted a few things.  My kids spied these plush blankets that were $10.  Frances chose Paw Patrol and Sterling chose Minions.  Many months later they are still a favorite and the best $10 I ever spent.

– I left the room a few days ago to grab a cup of coffee and walk back into this scene.  I wanted to be mad she used my make-up but the application was so on point.  The bronzer and lips were perfection from a 2 year old.   and I love her smug smile, like yes I can do make-up better than you.

– I am totally addicted to Stoffers Mac and Cheese.  I used to love it in college and recently found the grocery made individual microwave cups which I happily picked up.  After one bite I was hooked again.   It is so bad for you but so good.    Matt and I eat it for dinner at least once a week.

– Sterling told me this week that he planned to work at a toy store and live at home when he was older.  That way he could always have new toys and be near me.  He also told me his wife would want to live with us too if that was ok.  And if she didn’t want to live with us they would buy the house next door.   I love his optimism. 

– A few days ago I had a friend come over that I did not know that well.  I swear my kids can sense that stuff.  The whole time she was there Sterling kept saying excuse me while we were trying to talk.   When he finally got my attention he waved his hand in front of his nose and goes “phew you smell like DD’s attic”.  He kept repeating this until she left.   I was so embarrassed.  But truth be told I swear my deodorant never works.

– Frances is obsessed with boobs and saying whether they are big or small.  She always tells me Mama has big boobs, Frances has small boobs, Daddy has big boobs- haha.

– Frances also loves to say “shake your booty” and shake her bottom like crazy.  I have no idea where she learned this but this can’t bode well for her teenage years.

– Sterling wants to wear athletic leggings to school everyday no matter how hot it is.  He is so particular.   He has so many shorts and pants but will only wear these 2 pairs.  I gave up the fight a long time ago but it still drives me nuts.  I present his school picture again in full glory with his leggings.

– Sterling made me this picture at school a few weeks ago.  The front of the card has a heart around a picture he drew of me and this was on the inside.  Matt and I could not stop laughing.  I am not sure if I should be horrified or proud at what a perfect martini he drew:)

and truth be told I drink wine more often martinis but I guess remembered this!

– Every night Sterling tells me he loves me more than I will ever know.  It melts my heart each time I hear it.  Things like that make you so thankful to be a parent in spite of all the crazy day to day stuff!